Thursday, March 12, 2009


Ok.... so I guess I was wrong... he really can't talk while he is there! It's not quite as bad as we were told, but close. He usually calls me in the morning, on his way to class, and I'm usually still sleeping so at most it consists of "I love you, learn a lot, bye..." . Most days, lunch time has another call, but since they only have a 30 min lunch, its quick as well. Depending on what my life is doing after work (committee meetings, church, etc.) we sometimes get to talk while he is 'relaxing/dinner' before he heads to study group, usually 5ish to 9. By the time he gets done with that, we are able to use the webcam to chat online for AT MOST 30 min.... by this time, my baby is so exhausted, and more then that mentally overwhelmed, that he isn't that much fun to talk to.

I've tried to keep the 'drama' here at home as minimal as possible... or at least what I share with him is minimal. I don't think his brain could handle it. I feel awful, telling him that things are going great, when really they aren't, but following the wise advice of HIS parents, I'm not sharing it with him unless there is something he can do about it. For example: we had a contract in on our house, but it fell through because the buyer couldn't get financing... (they only had a 500 credit score, and no down payment...that's a whole other rant.... I mean blog...!). We knew for days that the deal was falling apart, which was accompanied by tears, and anger, and disbelief, none of which I shared with him. His Dad told me that until I know what the outcome is, there is no need to bother him. I agreed, and once all the cards fell, I was able to inform him of what had happened, but minus the stress that was formed as it was falling apart. He said he was sorry that I had to deal with that, but was glad that I 'handled it'.

My husband is an amazing man (obviously, or I wouldn't have married him) but man sometimes I want to slap him! This training has been a trial in patience.... I know that he is under immense pressure, but his self esteem balloon is very deflated! He is constantly doubting himself, and the fact that he can get through this. It frustrates me that he does not see his talents, and how good he was doing. On something recently, he scored an 87%... and in his eyes that was 'failing'. GOOD GRIEF!! I sometimes want to just say, "suck it up, get it done, you have/ and are going to do great, see you in 7 weeks, I love you". However, I know that his delicate male ego couldn't handle it... so I remain the patient, ever loving, 'you can do it honey' wife. It probably doesn't help that someone on day 33 (of 35) failed out... so, 12 days down....23 to go!

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