2ww

For those of you who are trying to conceive, or have ever dealt with infertility issues, you know exactly what this title is.... for those of you that don't, its short for the two week wait. The two weeks that are nerve racking, symptom checking, questioning, and full of hoping between the time that you ovulated (either naturally or with drugs (mine was with drugs...)) until you can take a pregnancy test to see if it 'worked'... unfortunately two of my last three cycles have had a great end to the two week wait... positives both in September and November... only to end in my fifth and sixth miscarriages.

So, I guess I have officially entered my two week wait of our last cycle. Maybe just until he comes back from SNCO Academy (April), or maybe forever, depending on how he feels.



Joy.



I think that I have already mentally checked out of this cycle.



Period.



I also have had a rough couple of nights, the anxiety is coming back. In two weeks, if I don't see two lines, I think I'll go to my doctor about getting on some sort of anxiety medicine.

The stress of my husbands job, combined with the stress of now living in the same town as my step-daughter and her mother, and having to deal with her behavior issues (yea for having to go to 'family counseling' all five of us.... shes fine at my house, just because she is a terror at her moms... how is that MY problem.) and academic issues (which I now tutor her two nights a week, which is fine, I actually enjoy that, but point blank, its one more thing that I have to prepare for every week).

My classes have also started so that I can transfer my teaching licence. Ugh. I found out yesterday that I HAVE to take a class, that I have ALREADY taken, and actually my requirements were well above the requirements this college has. The head of the Education department happens to teach two of my classes, so he is in my corner, but still.... to have to re-do all the stuff I've done is AWESOME!

As you can tell from this post, and the fact that it is dripping with sarcasm, that is the status of my life, so for this two week wait, I will be minus the blog... next time you hear from me you'll know if this cycle worked or not!

I'll probably not even log in to read your blogs, but will dedicate a whole day to catching up when I'm 'back'. Unfortunately, I'm taking an online course, and the other ones use 'BlackBoard' to submit assignments and such, so I'll still be near e-mail, so drop me a line! :) (actually, I think right now I would enjoy detoxing from ALL types of technology... just don't see it happening).

See you on the flip side of this 2ww!