I'm not quite sure how tomorrow will go... so I don't know if I'll be around.
A year ago, I became an Aunt for the first time.
A year ago, my husband became an Uncle.
A year ago, my in law's became grandparents for a second time.
A year ago, a beautiful baby was born.
But-
A year ago, was one of the worst day's of my life.
A year ago, Dr. V took my baby.
A year ago, even though I know he was gone before, he was really gone.
A year ago, I cried on the way to the hospital for my D and C as my husband got a text message that his sister had just given birth.
A year ago, I didn't give a damn that she had a baby, I actually told my mother in law to stop sending me updates, because I really didn't care.
A year ago, I was really heartless to the nurses who tried to be so kind to me.
A year ago, I was hopeless, and angry, and sad.
A year ago, my husband wrote me a letter while I was in surgery, and it still makes me cry to this day.
He was the only one in the waiting room, I remember walking back to the pre-op area where they could get me ready. I looked back right before the door closed, and he looked so defeated.
A year ago, we lost our little Sea Monkey.
A year ago, I became an Aunt for the first time.
A year ago, my husband became an Uncle.
A year ago, my in law's became grandparents for a second time.
A year ago, a beautiful baby was born.
But-
A year ago, was one of the worst day's of my life.
A year ago, Dr. V took my baby.
A year ago, even though I know he was gone before, he was really gone.
A year ago, I cried on the way to the hospital for my D and C as my husband got a text message that his sister had just given birth.
A year ago, I didn't give a damn that she had a baby, I actually told my mother in law to stop sending me updates, because I really didn't care.
A year ago, I was really heartless to the nurses who tried to be so kind to me.
A year ago, I was hopeless, and angry, and sad.
A year ago, my husband wrote me a letter while I was in surgery, and it still makes me cry to this day.
He was the only one in the waiting room, I remember walking back to the pre-op area where they could get me ready. I looked back right before the door closed, and he looked so defeated.
A year ago, we lost our little Sea Monkey.
This is the last picture I have of him, his heart was beating strong... I still have it on my Blackberry.
oh dear ... it must have been devastating for you ... have peace and heal my fren ...
ReplyDeleteIt's incredible how resilient you are. I will be thinking of you hoping that you can keep looking forward to a time when this won't happen to you because you have answers. {hugs}
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, I lost a baby a year ago on the 26th.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel....
It takes so much strength to get through that. Especially a day that should be filled with joy like the birth of a baby in your family.
ReplyDelete:( That got me teary-eyed. I'm so very sorry. I don't even have any words. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteOh my... I definitely cried.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, and I know that doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but you're such a strong woman, and one day all of this is going to make you an excellent mommy.